Becoming a Parent is a Gift but Sometimes You May Feel it's one that You Might Want to Return!

Being a mum, they say, is the best and hardest job in the world, and I cannot disagree.  That said, I have not had a bit of trouble from any of my children, they are, thankfully, all successful and happy and with families of their own (and so the circle goes on).  Are they well balanced through nurture, nature or just good luck?  I don’t know, all I know is that as they have grown we have evolved from being parent and child into friends, and that is the best gift of all.

From the day they are born, the joy and love you feel is truly over-whelming. 

No two days are the same. From day one there is always a new facet of your child to consider, from the coo-ing and goo-ing to the sleepless nights and temper tantrums, it’s very much a roller-coaster of tummy turning love, nauseating anxiety and abject fear! 

Back in the day we didn’t have a baby shower, this is a more recent thing, in fact I am in the process with daughter no.2 of organising a virtual one!  Mum’s to be would get together after the anti-natal classes just to be together, to offer or receive support, have a few laughs and then after the arrival maybe a few wine’s where we would discuss what new developments there were. We would quiz each other, checking whether things were normal, is my baby keeping up or is he/she behind everyone else?  We worried and hurried so much and in hindsight it all just goes so quickly.  As soon as you get the first smile, the first words, first steps, first day at school, first boyfriend/girlfriend, and off to university…….you get the picture, blink and before you know it they have families and relationships of their own. 

If I have one piece of advice it would be to cherish every minute.  Time is precious.

The lack of time, due to work, school or other pressures has always resulted in some negativity, but when we have been able to make room to be together, to relax, have a movie night, walk the dog or just chat, everything is just better.  Of course relationships are a two way street, and now they are older I am reaping the rewards!  I have had some fabulous mother's day gifts over the years, birthday boxes and pamper gifts!  This sounds a bit mercenary, and in truth, the phone calls, cards and hugs do it every time, though I do love the gift boxes! 

As the years have gone by, we (before lockdown) have met for drinks, gone for days out, had games nights, often with more drinks (I am partial to a Fun Be’Gins) and lots of laughter.  The beauty of it all is, that they are never completely independent.  The gift is that they come back for advice, from mum and dad, it’s then that you know you’ve done a good job.

Julie xx

March 07, 2021 — Julie Selby